Reflections on the passing of Maya's Mom, And Hope for the future of Babycenter

Two years ago, I joined a community known as Maya's Mom. It was my very first experience with a site devoted entirely to Moms, at a time when I had just begun blogging. As I had only just wet my feet in the "Mommy blogging" genre, Maya's Mom seemed like the perfect place to start--the profile avatars even consisted, literally, of pictures of feet! Mine were, as a recall, cute sandal-clad hippy Mom feet with painted toenails back then.

I met Anne, the founder of Maya's Mom, in Chicago at a BlogHer convention in 2007. I told her how much I liked the way the community--and it really felt like a community--was set up, the intuitive interface that let Moms find and connect with other Moms easily to ask questions, get info, share their own tips, even import personal blogs. I remember at the time her passion and enthusiasm were contagious. I liked how real and down-to-earth she was, just another Mom like me, who happened to have a big idea and the courage to run with it. It helped to inspire me to work on my own site, make it into something bigger.

As the Maya's Mom community grew, I learned and grew right along with it. My little Mommy blog was no longer this personal journal I kept for myself. Instead, I developed a loyal following. I became known in the "Mommy Blogger" world; people recognized my name. Bloggers I read and respected wrote to me and told me they enjoyed this post or that of mine. It was an exhilirating feeling, being accepted by my peers in that way.

And a lot of that exposure, that recognition, came about as a direct result of the time I spent on Maya's Mom, meeting other Moms and forging friendships with them. In those early days, I was a frequent participator, logging in every day and sometimes several times a day, actively commenting in so many of the threads that I'm sure some of the members got sick and tired of seeing my name. I joined groups, doling out what passed for advice to the best of my ability and often deferring to the wisdom of the community when I needed help with my own life's problems. I celebrated my friend's children's birthdays with them, and congratulated them on their anniversaries and special occasions. I commiserated when they went through tough times. And they did the same for me.

It's sad to know that, with the passing of Maya's Mom, which will be completely defunct in just a few days, those times are gone now. I haven't yet made that same connection at babycenter, the community that has risen to fill in the void that Maya's Mom leaves behind. I miss the women I knew and who befriended me when I was learning the ropes, first as an online Mom right along with them, and then as a blogger whose site took off with their help and encouragement. Many of them have moved on now.

But I'm looking forward to re-connecting with those parents (Dads too!) who have chosen to stay here at babycenter, just as I look forward to forging new bonds as babycenter grows and flourishes. I know that Anne did what she had to do, what was right for her, and I know that the people behind babycenter are good people, people who recognized the value of the community Maya's Mom had established, and incorporated it into their own vision. I'm glad, because that community helped me to grow, and I want it to continue to help others.

My kids are no longer babies--they are big kids now, almost young men--but they'll still always be my babies. And that's why I've chosen to stay. New Moms need help and support, and maybe I can offer that. And, as for the rest of us who have been parents for years, well, we still question ourselves sometimes. We still need each other.

So, as I bid au revoir to Maya's Mom, I also welcome the new babycenter community with hope and optimism for the future.

And I invite you all to join me. Take the time to visit the site, check out the community, and get in on the "ground floor," so to speak. Know that you belong, that you are welcomed with open arms by parents just like you. I'll be looking out for you.

~Viv

Party Hopping at BlogHer 08: Part I

Union Square, taken from our hotel room window.

Thursday night at BlogHer 08 absolutely rocked. I felt like a celebrity superstar, schlepping from one party to the next and hobnobbing with all the sponsors, including the wonderful folks from Johnson & Johnson and MomCentral, who started the evening off right with the first meet-up at 5 PM.

The BlogHer conference is being held at the Westin St. Francis this year, a hugely swanky hotel full of conference rooms and suites and even a shopping avenue with a Victoria's Secret (or, as the girls today call it, Vic's).

In the lobby of the St. Francis is the hotel bar, called Caruso's, and this is where MomCentral and J&J set up shop, footing the bill for drinks for all of us invitees. That's right, this was an invite-only party. And I was on the A-list, Baby! Why? Well, you have seen my reviews on the blog courtesy of MomCentral, and you might remember that back in April I headed out with a group of Mommy Bloggers to Camp Baby, on behalf of J&J. And, fabulous folks that they are, they both remembered me. So I actually got TWO invites. Woohoo! Heady stuff, fame. ; )

Anyway, in addition to the free drinks (as if you really needed anything more), books were laid out for bloggers to look through, and maybe pick a few up and take back to review on their sites, if the fancy took them.

Funny story: I am looking at all these wonderful books, and I turn to the lady next to me and say, "Wow, don't these just inspire you to write a book yourself?"

And she says, "Actually, I did. And that's my book right there. Would you like me to sign it for you?"

I swear to you, that's exactly how it went down, unlikely as it sounds, and that's how I met Diane MacEachern, author of Big Green Purse, a book about "using your spending power to creat a cleaner, greener world."

And of course I spoke to all the great folks from J&J and MomCentral, who are so sweet that, although they had thoughtfully made up impressive name badges for all of us, completely neglected to think of themselves, and so were walking around with pen-scrawled stick-ems they had hastily concocted. Isn't that just like us women, thinking of everyone else first and ourselves last?

I also ran into Lindsey Grossman, who is working on Raggs (more about Raggs and other fun stuff for your kids soon), PHAT Mommy, Tracee from SoSiouxMe, BusyMom, Lara from Notions of Identity, the SoCal Moms in the elevator (all of them looking chic and fashionable), and Liz from This Full House.

And that was just the FIRST party of the evening!

A Great New Place for Moms to Meet!

I'm very excited today, because a great new Mom forum has opened up on the internet, and I already feel like I am part of it: BabyCenter Community.

The brand new BabyCenter Community is very close to my heart, as I had a chance to meet Tina Sharkey, Chairman and Global President of BabyCenter, at the Johnson & Johnson Camp Baby meet-up for Moms in April up in New Brunswick, New Jersey

If you are not familiar with BabyCenter, well, I'm surprised, because it is the internet's largest resource for new and expectant parents. The new BabyCenter social network, available in public beta at http://community.babycenter.com, enables new and existing members the opportunity to share and connect with each other.

Here's what Tina Sharkey had to say about BabyCenter Community:

"Moms come to BabyCenter seeking trusted, personalized information, but they stay for the connections they make with other parents. Social networking has changed the face of communication, and BabyCenter wants to bring together these parents in a place where they can easily share experiences, milestones, information and the joys and journey of parenthood.”

Here's how BabyCenter’s new community will help parents form new friendships. On the site, you can:

• Create public and private groups around any topic,
• Share photos and video among friends by uploading to Profiles and Journals,
• Distribute a personal blog feed from other blogging platforms into a BabyCenter® Journal,
• Pass Notes to other members, post Shout-Outs, comment on Journals,
• Match with people who share common interests, locations, childrens’ ages and more
• Publish “kid-isms,” the hilarious things kids say, and
  
• Tag photos and profile to help others find you.

If the layout seems similar to that of "Maya's Mom" to you, you are very perceptive, because that's the model BabyCenter, who bought Maya's Mom last fall, used to create their new social community.

I love the format of Maya's Mom--that's the first Mom network I joined when I started blogging as a Mom-- and I think that Baby Center's new social community will be a fantastic networking opportunity for new parents, especially new SAHM's!

Check it out!

Camp Baby Photos are Up Over at Flickr

I just joined Flickr, too, btw, so please add me if you are a regular over there! Oh, and drop me a line if you have any suggestions about tagging photos, etc. I've seen people do great stuff with their pics over there, but I haven't even read most of the FAQ yet.

Here's the link to the photostream:

www.flickr.com pluckymisha's Camp Baby photoset

I Can See Clearly Now

Wow. Just wow. I never knew this program existed, and this is so vital, I'm putting the info here instead of linking.

What's it all about? No-cost (that's right, completely FREE) eye checks for infants. For everyone. You, me, any Mom with an infant.

Dr. Scott Jens spoke with all of us Mommy bloggers about the incredible InfantSEE.org program, and every Mom should know about it. A Not-for-Profit organization with more than 7000 doctors enrolled nationwide, with a grant from Congress of $438K last December (and it should have been more), Infantsee saves children's vision, and in some cases, their lives.

Dr. Jens made a compelling case for the need for infant vision checks. Infant's eyes go through a lot during their development, and recommended eye checks should also occur again at age 3 and age 6. Your pre-school may run these checks, but there is no substitute for an InfantSEE doctor early on, because these people are amazing, and have resources just not available to pediatricians.

We saw a video with several tearful stories of infants whose conditions were diagnosed as a direct result of this program, including one boy who had a dangerous tumor on his eye. It was just a small white spot, and his pediatrician ignored it or missed it entirely during his regular check-ups, but his Mom just knew something was wrong. You know that intuition you have when you just know something is up?

Anyway, she took her son to an InfantSEE doctor, who correctly diagnosed the tumor. This boy (I shudder even writing this) had to have his eye removed. If his Mom hadn't taken him to the InfantSEE doctor, though, he would, quite simply, have died. Even after he was diagnosed, the woman's pediatrician was defensive, claiming the tumor, which was large and growing, had basically appeared overnight, and not been there when he examined the boy. But the kid wears glasses now (cute sunglasses!) and he can see, and he's alive, so to hell with that pediatrician, and YAY! InfantSEE.

If you have an infant, get his eyes checked free. You'd be amazed; I spoke with a fellow blogger whose son had an eye problem that wasn't diagnosed until elementary school. The teachers felt her son was mentally handicapped. Turns out he was a very bright boy trying hard to compensate for horrible vision.

I could go on with more stories, but just go to the InfantSEE program's website or contact them by phone at:

(888) 396-EYES

(InfantSEE is a not-for-profit program which is only partially funded by J&J and affiliated with the Johnson & Johnson Vision Care Institute. Grants from Congress also help fund their important, life-changing, and sometimes life-saving work.)

Ted Allen Dares to Pair, and Shares Some Dirt Along the Way

You know him from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and "Top Chef." But I had wine with him last night...

That's right, me and Ted Allen. And about 50 other Mommy Bloggers. It's all part of Camp Baby. Ted shared information on pairing wine with meals, without the snobbery. And he had some great stories about the chefs he works with on Top Chef. Read all about it after the jump--I promise you it's worth the trip!

Follow the link to Camp Baby!

Follow the Link for LIVE updates from Camp Baby!

I'm blogging LIVE until the end of the week from New Brunswick, NJ, and you can follow this link any time to read all about Viv's Adventures at Camp Baby! The page will be updated every day, so keep checking back for the latest news and commentary.

~Viv

Camp Baby

I was recently thrilled to be one of a group of Mommy Bloggers approached by Johnson & Johnson to attend a weekend event in April entitled Camp Baby. This all-expenses paid weekend includes a fantastic opportunity to dialog with other Moms, bloggers like me, as well as some much-needed pampering, and I give kudos to Johnson & Johnson for reaching out to Moms in the blogosphere as they have done with this all-encompassing, everyone's welcome attitude.

Now, having read the invitation thoroughly, it came as no surprise to me that Mothers are not expected to bring their children with them for the weekend, as the activities on the agenda suggest that the Camp getaway is intended as a opportunity for Moms to get together, discuss their lives, their successes and disappointments, their challenges and their frustrations and all their methods of coping with the huge responsibility that is Motherhood. It's a chance to let go for a little while, vent and share and even let yourself be pampered for a change, along with other Moms who can understand and support just where you are coming from.

But not everyone came away with the same reading of the situation as I did, and some other bloggers have pointed out that at an event entitled Camp Baby, it seems counter-intuitive that babies and small children cannot be accommodated.

Now, I actually became aware of this controversy through Johnson & Johnson themselves, who realized there was a problem and, to their credit, responded immediately with an email to those of us who had been invited, both explaining and apologizing for any misunderstandings relating to Camp Baby (which, in retrospect, should possibly have been named "Camp Mom").

Here's what J&J's Baby Camp Organizer had to say in her email:

I wanted to personally reach out to you in response to what happened yesterday in the mommy blogosphere. What a learning process it has been for all of us.

...We tried our best to invite as many bloggers as possible...for a first event, we did the best possible job finding you all! And we are so glad we did.

We have done our best to be honest in all our communications to be as equal and fair as possible. As with all events, registration is on a first-come-first-serve basis, and once we reached capacity, we had to stop accepting new people since we wanted the event to feel very intimate (and yes we did go over by 6!) . Additionally, because this is an event created for education and networking, we felt, that you could not take full advantage of the agenda, while caring for your children. This was probably the hardest call we made and certainly have learned a lot through this process. In the future, we will be much more overt about these decisions but we tried to communicate this as questions arose.

I applaud the way Johnson & Johnson has stepped up to the plate over this whole controversy, and I am looking forward to attending Camp Baby and blogging all about for you. You'll be seeing those posts between April 2nd and April 4th, when I will be in New Jersey attending the camp and blogging live from the event.