Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Summer of Me and you and you and you!
Well, folks, I'm going for it! Following the lead of Christie O. over at Baby Tea Leaves, I've decided to try to lose my extra weight this summer. I know it's not going to be easy; my thyroid problems are kicking my ass (excuse my French, everyone) and we have vacation coming up early next month, in which I will probably eat way too much. And then there's BlogHer coming up in the middle of July, where they will probably throw cocktails and goodies at us Bloggers (by the way, send me an email at vbruss AT cfl.rr.com if you are going to BlogHer, I would love to meet you all!).
So this may not be the perfect time for me to lose the weight. But then again, if I wait for a perfect time, it will never come, so I might as well just grow a spine and some will-power and aim for the stars, right?
Or at least, 15 pounds.
That's how much I am trying to lose this summer, and I am putting it right out there for you all to see. And honestly, it is really intimidating me!
See, I was once that skinny girl you hated in high school, and even though those days are long gone, I am still not used to carrying around this extra weight.
But when I had to have my hysterectomy, all that changed. I had severe endometriosis, and we tried lots of other treatments, but it came right down to: have your ovaries and your uterus removed now. So, I did. And right away, I had problems.
Both of the boys were breech babies--frank breech and footling breech, thank you very much, so don't go judging me for having two C-sections, I didn't have a choice according to the doctor. So, hello, stomach scar tissue! Woohoo! But I still lost the baby weight, or most of it.
And then, along comes the hysterectomy thing, literally years later, and it floored me.
For a couple reasons: the endometriosis brought about symptoms that I had only experienced when I was pregnant with my boys. It completely mimicked my pregnancies, only I was also in awful pain. I knew, rationally, that I couldn't be pregnant again, since I'd had my tubes tied after the Rhino was born. We were done, and I was fine with that then.
Until the endometriosis made me feel like I was pregnant, and all rational thought went out the window. I started thinking, "what if?" What if I actually were pregnant somehow? And was shocked to realize I would be happy if that were the case.
And then, of course, it wasn't.
To go from that kind of elated wondering to being forced to lose my uterus and ovaries all in one go was, in a word, devastating. Emotionally and physically.
Which is maybe why I never recovered from the hysterectomy the way I did from the boys' births. Right after the surgery, I started throwing up and couldn't keep any food down. When I finally could eat, I started gaining weight in a way I never had before. I felt completely out of control of my own body. I'd always worried about my thighs and hips. Now, the weight showed up in different places. Where was this big stomach coming from? It's not like there was anything left in there! I should have been flat and sexy, with my hip-bones sticking out. And there cannot be my arms. My arms do not look like stuffed sausages, thank you! Except, you know, they do, dammit.
I had my hysterectomy six years ago now, and it's been hormone treatments and anti-depressants and all kinds of hassle ever since then. I feel like a stranger, like a completely different woman from the old me.
Finally, this year I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem, which seems to have really added to all this weight nonsense. I won't completely blame my thyroid, though; I've made poor diet choices and not been active like I should be, too. But taking the thyroid medication has made me feel a little more like myself again, or at least like I'm still in here somewhere.
So now I have decided to do something about those extra pounds at last. I actually lost ten pounds in April and May, and felt good about that, but I find myself slipping back, and realized what I needed was: a support system.
And that's where all of you, my Cool Moms, come in!
Lose weight with me, if you need to. We can do this together! I'll celebrate with you by having giveaways when I reach various milestones, and when you write to me telling me about yours, too! Go ahead and grab the button over at Christie O's blog to show you are participating in her weight-loss campaign, The Summer of Me.
And If you are already successfully skinny and healthy, PLEASE send me your weight-loss tips, your recipes, your exercise and fitness guidelines, anything to help me out. I'll have prizes for the best tips I receive, the people who provide me with the most useful information and resources.
I'm putting my ticker over on the sidebar so you can all follow my progress. This is a scary, public thing, but I feel hopeful.
Together, we can do this, people!
at 4:10 PM